Getting older doesn’t feel any different, at least to me. I don’t know how other people feel about their birthdays and getting a year older, but I feel like I am still 18 or 16 or anything that is “younger”. Each birthday or even every time someone asks me how old I am it makes me step back and say “Really? I’m that old? Why do I feel like I’m still 17?” I was always on the young end of the crowd in any situation or job and always the youngest of siblings, but now I’m with the older age group. Before I graduated college, everyone looked at me and automatically assumed I was 16 or 18. Now that I have a degree I am automatically 22 or 23 by people’s standards. But really I’m even older than that.
I don’t feel any different. When I think about my job and how much responsibility I have, I think to myself, “I’m too young for this position! How can they think I can do this?” And then I remember that I am 25, not the 18 that I feel I am. Most people have kids when they are younger than me and I think that is the biggest responsibility anyone could ever have. I am thankful for my life and all that I have accomplished and learned so far in life but really I don’t feel beyond a teenager. It feels like I should still be at home and have Christmas with my sisters and parents, not their husbands and kids. I will never experience those moments ever again with just my sisters and parents though.
I am an adult. I’m a grownup. Nothing makes me think of my age more than when Mike discusses his age. He just turned 22…and I am turning 26 today. At first it bothered me because he wasn’t even 21 when we started dating. Now its not a factor because he doesn’t let it be. I have learned many things over my years, but I have not experienced everything I have wanted to or embraced the opportunities that have presented to me. I can’t get those experiences back but I can seize the opportunities from here on out.
When does your age catch up to you? When will my time of youth and bliss be over with? I think that is what scares me more than another number. I have only just begun to experience the full extent of my physical body and push it to extremes in running, working out, climbing, snowboarding, hiking, etc…when will I not be able to do those things anymore?
I am in the best physical condition of my life right now, better than I have ever been. I am told you are only as old as you feel. But when do you start to feel it? I have never heard my grandparents complain of age or anything physical. They always say they are young because they don’t feel old. I went with a hiking group when Mike was in Iraq and there was a 76-year-old that hiked with us. He was in the back of the line but he made it to the top when we were all there. Snowboarding is free for those over 80 and heavily discounted for those 60 and up. I just think to myself, I hope I can make it and still be that active. And I know being 26 is not old but I really feel like its going to catch up to me eventually.
Another thing about it being my birthday: I have never liked my birthday. I hate being the center of attention. My birthday always seems like more of an inconvenience than anything, especially being right in the middle of the holidays. Mike seems to like celebrating my birthday. It was really special last year getting a call from him in Iraq being very excited to wish me a happy birthday. I do appreciate all acknowledgement and communication on this day, but I just wish I didn’t have to be the object of celebration.
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